This is a bad day, really. And the worst outing i ever had with stargazer.

I think this is my fault, ya i started it, i shdnt have emailed stargazer. i shdnt have asked him out. two stressed ppl shdnt go out together. now i know. Bring CLing out is enuff, i shdnt "bring" one more. i am happier while sitting together with CLing. I believe u hear my laughters too.

u said i am always busy. am i? i thought u are the one very busy, didnt even get a word from u for weeks. and ya, thats y i sent u an email, finding all kind of excuse to email. i shdnt do it, i was wrong. am i busy? ya i was, i was too silly that i try to reserve all my Sat for someone who doesnt even send me a note. Ended up i was at home staring at the four walls almost every Sat.

i told u i dunno ur schedule, n thats true. all the while, i tried my very best to fit in ur schedule, i tried to rearrange my works n outings with friends so that i can meet ur schedule. but u never know that. n even if u know, u may say, i dun have to do that. ya i know.

when i block my weekends for u n yet u said i am always busy, it hurts. maybe i shd hav told u first? no, i wont do that anymore, i hav emailed u and this is how it ends. so i wont do it again.

u wanna to know why i am not interested in ur holidays, ur meet up with others etc, n u asked me y i didnt ask u abt those. well, i dun know i can ask. i thought i am at no position to ask anything abt ur life, apart from ur work n bit abt ur family.

u asked if i am a big spender. i thought u knew i am always stingy? i dont anyhow spend, unless i am very stressed. u shd know i dun hav extra $ to spend. ya, before u know i hav so much commitments, we were kinda ok. but well, i didnt spend ur $ right? i dont anyhow take advantage at ppl, u shd know this long ago. n u always tell me that i am nice, or this is not what u really think? U asked an invalid question, or maybe, u asked the wrong person.

This is Garden Fest, i thought i can share all these beautiful florals with u, but i was wrong, i shdnt use my mind to comprehend urs. u r not interested in florals at all. or maybe, theres something else troubling u at that time. u r plainly physically there. i tried to came out with topics to chat, but i failed. each topic lasted less than 5 minutes.

u never smile today, before 7.10pm.

I am glad that i still managed to find some moments that i enjoyed throughout the day, n i managed to take some pics of nice florals. this is the best gift of today!